Category Archives: Single Woman

Day 14: Success! It ended with a kiss

Yeah, that’s right, I flirted, I teased and got a kiss as a reward!

It started with a lonesome man, a handsome lonesome man, whose eye I’d caught. He was eyeing up what looked like a note of value, he shrugged and I don’t think he wanted to look silly if it was not money. So I got my lovely old friend Ms Attractive to pick it up as she was closest but alas it was only an old receipt. In steps Tall Irishman joking that we could buy a round with the money,’ ok’ I say ‘you go get it’ with a flirty, mischievous smile. So we get flirting and he asks if his ‘Irish charms are working on me’, at the time I thought it a silly remark but actually kudos to him for making it outright obvious that he is flirting with me; I might have to use that one myself but cut the ‘Irish’ and paste with ‘Womanly’.

As it transpired our Tall Irishman was a proper flirt and flirted with us all, all fab five of us, and any passer-by’s too for that matter, I find that quite off-putting but in his defence he tried to get all his boys in on it as well but they were quite difficult to get going on the flirt scene. Although one of them defrosted eventually and danced a little jig and flipped Ms Attractive on her head with a Strictly Come Dancing move. There was another handsome friend of Tall Irishman whom I tried to get close to, to try my newfound flirting skills on but I was stopped at every attempt by Tall Irishman, at the time I thought it was bad timing, now maybe I’d like to think there was an ulterior motive. I was also put off by thinking that he was into Ms Attractive which always invariable seems to happen I think, or am I just being insecure? Anyhow I seem to be the more approachable, less attractive brunette who guys start flirting with to get close to the more attractive blond company I keep. Is that not often guys game plan? I think I might have read that somewhere.

Meanwhile I’m also trying to flirt further with lonesome handsome man who is no longer lonesome, he give me a wink or two and flashes me a gorgeous smile, 30 minutes later he is squeezing and caressing one of his company’s asses, by the looks of it; his girlfriend – what the f’?! Oh, well! It was fun to feel desirable whilst it lasted. Thinking back, I am also guilty of flirting with all and sundry, what’s actually so bad in that, I ask myself now?

The evening comes to a halt, everyone starts making a move home or a make their final move on the evening’s flirts. Tall Irishman steps in again wanting to take his chances with me, I vehemently state that he really was  after my friend and I am the scraps, he vehemently denies this. I think ‘ why not, he’s kind of handsome in a charming smiley way, go for it’. So we take company to the train station, through the alleyway, which in my (distant past) experience is a great place for a tease and a kiss and I’m not wrong. He stops, grabs my hand, leans against the wall and brings me close to him. He tries to kiss me but I like that electric moment before a kiss, I savour that moment by keeping my distance. He calls me a tease with a charming smile, I giggle seductively and I come closer again. He pulls me in even closer and I continue to keep the distance after our lips have gently caressed. We breathe the electricity. He takes my face in his warm large smooth carpenter’s hands and now  teases me with his lips then finally we kiss – mmm, lovely lovely! Then he takes my hand, he has strong wonderful warm hands, as I’ve already mentioned, and we walk off into the sunset…… never to see each other again, we never exchanged numbers, it was not to be. Never mind, tonight is another night and I have a date with someone else!

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To wax or not to wax

I am currently reading “How to Be a Woman” by Caitlin Moran, it’s very funny! Laugh-out-loud funny! She is a couple of years younger than me so I can totally relate to what she has written. I have recently finished reading chapter 2 ‘I Become Furry’ and it made me think of my Flirty Friend’s comment on how she in the last months of pregnancy probably wouldn’t bother with personal grooming in the nether regions, which sparked a further discussion on how most women seem to undertake a fair bit of grooming where I work prior childbirth which I have found rather peculiar. Maybe it is just part of their regular grooming in fact. I’m guessing this has to do with the modern times we are living in and the age group who gets pregnant. But doing some more research on this, it could be a combination of both modern times and muslim cultural practice. It is apparently common practice for both women and men in the muslim world to wax all over once they get married and where I work there is a high percentage of Muslims.

In America apparently nearly 60% of 18-24 year-old’s are sometimes or always completely bare and almost 50% of 25-29 year-old’s are too. In the UK the statistics in general are that women in the age group of 18-44 are more likely to remove their pubic hair completely than those over 45, as they think men prefer the manicured look. Speaking to a couple of girlfriends in the 25-29 age group, full grooming of the vulva had either been tried once, never to be done again or something done when with a regular partner.

Ms Moran writes about how the times have changed and how waxing only the bikini line in her teenage years was bizarre, marginal and for porn models only. My experience was different as my best friend was Turkish and sugaring is big Turkey, handed down in the generations like a family affair, the women folk getting together for a sugaring session, again Muslim culture. So I have often sugared/waxed my bikini line, legs and underarms since my teenage years. When moving to London there was no dificulty in finding salons to accommodate me on this because of the cultural mix in London. Fastforward 20 years and waxing more than your bikini line is now a routine part of many women and men’s personal grooming even in the Western world.

Ms Moran and others blame the porn industry, as it is now so assessible on the internet, for the trend of complete removal of pubic hair. The porn industry has adopted this kind of pubic hair removal for both men and women for better penetrative shots. Personally I find it’s a little creepy, like being pre-pubecent, surely our men want women and not young girls? Equally I want a man who looks like a man and not a pubecent boy! Some will argue that it sensual and hightens the sensation for sexual pleasure, sure I say to that, but for that we only need to shear away in the most intimite parts of our vulvas and does not include the anterior vulva, our visible triangle, which in my opinion seperates women from girls. I don’t know how this works for men?

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I wanted to look at this from a feminist standpoint but as men are also undertaking this practice it’s not a feminist issue at all, someone aptly put it down to freedom of choice versus group pressure to conform to uncomfortable standards. Erotic grooming trends have changed through the ages but dates as far back as 2000BC. So with this I want to say, groom however you want but be sure it is your choice rather than about conforming to some kind of sexual ideal that is not your own idea of sexiness. 

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Filed under childbirth, Midwifery, New, Single Woman, Women

Day 9: not much flirting

There hasn’t been much flirting as I have been working long shifts and  have also not quite been in the ‘mood for flirting’. To be in the mood one has to be in top form I think, i.e. not tired, feel attractive, sexy and feel slim –  I have slim days and fat days, my mum has her sparkly or gloomy eye’s days, what about you? But today might be the day to get into flirt mood! I have already been messaged by a man whom I have not dated yet but whom I have exchanged messages with for some time. You might wonder why we have not been on a date yet? Something is stopping me from properly arranging a date; is it a gut feeling or purely being scared of being disappointed yet again. I think I just have to jump in and not take any set back too seriously. Having just watched this delightful advert I can draw some parallels between this mouse’ story and dating:

The mousetrap is dating and the final is what we all aim for – the big cheese/love!

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Day 3: strike the pose

Recently I took a workshop in a variety of styles of dancing, and one of the styles was burlesque. This at the time was for me somehow surprising but afterwards not so, I obviously had been concentrating on only one facet of the workshop ignoring the rest. I really did not feel sexy when we started off, my advice here is; dress to kill. Whether this is your sexy little black number, your jeans with that fabulous sparkly top or your retro tea dress with a flower in your hair but don’t wear your track pants and tee without on ounce of make-up.

But I did find my inner sexiness after striking a string of sexy burlesque poses that our fabulous teacher had choreographed. It felt particular evident when I went out dancing blues today, on day 3 in my bid to flirt better. I flirted outrageously with my whole body by hitting those sexy burlesque poses and wow, how I felt like “all woman”! I thoroughly recommend taking a burlesque class to find your inner sexiness, like I did.

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Day 2: online date lined up

True to my word, I went onto my online dating profile and checked the men out. I messaged one guy whom I had contact with some weeks back which had run into the sand as I have not spent any time on the site to follow through – no reply of course. Next I messaged another gentleman, who low and behold was in his fireman uniform! Not usually one for uniforms but I have for some reason always had a thing for firemen. Especially like the navy/black uniforms with the red suspenders and yellow helmets. There is something so manly about them with their red trucks and hoses, rescuing women over their shoulders coming down a ladder with the house on fire as a backdrop.

Was just about to leave the site and a message came in from someone whom I have been more or less ignoring for about a year, why you may wonder. Probably because he uses and over ruses of babe, honey and princess in the shortest of come-on messages ever. However I noticed he also is a fireman and being that I really want to get out there dating, I have to lower my expectations and as my Flirty Friend is currently experiencing the following – someone very interesting and articulate online is face-to-face rather socially inept. Maybe this online inept fireman is face-to-face very interesting. A date is now being arranged (this is tricky as we both work shifts) after some flirty messages back and forth, and a promise to not use those over-familiar name callings until we are no longer strangers!

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Day 1: could have flirted

"I restore myself when I'm alone" Marilyn

So yesterday I met my dear friend for dinner, who also happen to be a midwife but we have actually known each other since our pre-midwife days. So sitting in a restaurant eating and drinking wine whilst talking shop is not very conducive for flirting. Of course that is not all I did that day, besides blogging. I shopped for clothes, but was in a dace and anyhow the only men you see in women’s clothes shops are either gay or boyfriends. So what about my journey there?  I took the bus but had my head in a book, so from now on my books stay at home. Journeying home though I finally did have the opportunity to flirt, I noticed that the man I was sitting next to was also engrossed in his phone playing a card game. Now, if that isn’t an opportunity to flirt, what is! Unfortunately I did not find him remotely attractive, hence I could have flirted but wouldn’t.

My action plan for flirting today is to seize every opportunity; no books, card games are off limit, definitely spend some time at the actual bar counter (have found this productive before), and before any of that I will log into the dating site I’m signed up for but never spend much time on (which is probably why it is not very productive in terms of me finding a date to flirt with).

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Single woman into the limelight

Worked the holiday and now time for Single Woman to step into the limelight. So I have had a couple of days off and another couple to follow. I have been cavorting with the opposite sex but not really putting much effort into flirting or following through on the little flirting I did do.

I operate on the assumption that love will just land in my lap, this did actually happen to me once. Well actually, after he literally landed in my lap, he turned out to become a bit of an obsession of mine but that is another story. By this though you would have thought I would have learned my lesson there and then, that love just don’t land in your lap willy nilly.

I need to putting some effort into my flirting and to follow it through too. Rather than rolling over when other flirty flirts squeezes into my spot. I have found this blogging business to be a fun way of gathering tried and tested ways of conducting a flirt amongst other things of interest such as baking, cooking, midwifery, parenting, etc. So here is one blog on flirting step-by-step that I thought seemed easy enough to follow and will try out for the next coming two weeks: http://everythingloveandlust.wordpress.com/2012/04/07/a-lesson-in-flirting-with-everthing-love-and-lust/

I will regularly report on my successes or non-successes in this. Wish me luck!

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